The strangest thing happened the other day. I dropped some nuts for this crow that hangs out around our house. Then later on, it drops some nuts in front of me! That’s when I realized it was
Quid pro Crow!
Games you can Play in Japan
You are the Store Detective
Back to the Japan Living Section
Games you can play in Japan!
I love games, and here is one game you can play in Japan! I love this game!
I call it: “You are the Store Detective.”
It is one of my all time favorites. I often play it on a rainy day, or after I am bored with playing other games, like:
Teach Students to Talk Wrong.–More on that one later.
Games you can Play – Here`s what you do:
You go into a store, say a Toys r` Us, they are everywhere in Japan;or another large store–say a supermarket or a department store.It shouldn`t be a store where they know you. You need to not be a regular customer there, and I will go into that in a Hokkaido minute.
So go to a store that is far from your home.
You want to attract as much attention as possible.I am tall and white so I attract attention everywhere in Japan!!!! If you are African or of African decent,even better!
Games you can Play – The Store Detectives
Store detectives in Japan, absolutely love visible minorities–especially large men. We are really popular!
It is sad, in this day an age, but store detectives in Japan, are prejudiced against Japanese customers.
Japanese customers have to work very hard indeed,to get any attention at all in fact, from store clerks or store detectives.
Sometimes yelling and screaming works, stomping your feet and jumping up and down, or talking to yourself.I do this all the time. I did this at my last job.
That was five years ago.
BTW, if you know of any job openings let me know. I could use the work.
Games you can Play – Foreign Women in Japan
Foreign women I think are at a disadvantage here. But if you follow the handy tips below, I think you too can attract your favorite store detective.
Indeed, experts at this game have noted, that you can get the attention of your favourite store detective by wearing certain kinds of clothing:
Tight fitting clothes with no pockets, are not good for attracting him. You must wear loose fitting clothes, with huge pockets. Preferably a very long coat with huge visible pockets on the outside of the coat.
I often wear my long Hillfiger coat which I use for sports. It is huge and you just know your average to above average store detective is just thinking:
“Wow that dude could pack away a lot of stuff in those pockets.”
If you can have things hanging out of it that look like items from the store you are going into, all the better!
If it is a Toys r` Us, I often have a Thomas the tank engine train hanging out of my left pocket. I don`t mean just the engine, I mean a whole train!–at least five cars long so it hangs down the side of the coat, and looks kind of like I opened up a box at the back of the store, put the train together surreptitiously, and hung it in my pocket.
This is great! It always gets them going!
That`s what you want, you want the store detective thinking about you. You want to rattle him and get their attention. You want him to make himself obvious.
So you are probably getting the idea now, your goal is to attract the store detective. It shouldn`t be a store clerk. Anyone can do that by jumping up and down and shouting. I do it all the time as mentioned.
My boss used to mention it all the time.
I miss him.
He was a nice guy.
Then, your goal is to attract the store detective:that is the undercover person posing as a customer.It could be that husky guy right next to you now who just suddenly showed up in your aisle,and just happened to need to look at something right next to,or right in front of you.
Another technique store detectives love to use,is the sweep. They often use this one after they have stood next to you. They leave and about 2 minutes later they come flying back down the same aisle,walking very quickly and go past you. All the while, they try to watch you in a subtle way.
One thing to note, you do need to be a little careful out there, as the guy who you think is the store detective,may just turn out to be gay or crazy,or God forbid,
Crazy and Gay!!!!!!
Women too, you have to be careful that, that guy next to you, doesn`t just think you are soooo hot!
So it is best not to wear sexy clothing, as alluded to above.
Games you can Play – Goal
Goal of the Game: You are to seek out the store detective and when you think you have found him, you become the store detective, and follow him around the store.
I did this at a store in Kanagawa and it was so funny! He didn`t know what to do!
…And neither did my wife!
This is true, it was a recycle shop in Odawara and I followed him around the store. The clerks started laughing about it.
Games you can Play – Rules Clarification
If you guess wrong, and the store detective turns out to actually be a customer or is Gay, or Crazy; or Crazy and Gay, all of these results are -50 points. You lose!
Then, the next player goes into the store to try.
The winner who correctly guesses who the store detective is and follows him around the store causing annoyance wins the game and gets 100 points.
Who knows you may even get a job offer if you are good!
Some store detectives and players have even ended up getting married! I get cards all the time thanking me and saying, I got hitched while playing your game man!
It makes me smile all over….
I think this game is going to be BIG in Japan!and you can tell people that you know me eh!
“You Can Be the Store Detective!”
Disclaimer: If the store detective has a gun, best to be careful with this game!!!! If you get killed or injured don`t call us.
This was all a Joke!
Use it for your English Classes!
Do your students complain about not having anyone to converse with? No chances to use their English? Well here`s an idea for you!
How often have your students complained about penpals or online friends who never write back? Penpals who consistently write back are difficult to find. Now you can use scammers to help your students practice their English….
That`s right! For Free!
Here is one example from one of my favourite countries for active penpals: Nigeria
I found you from a South African health inspector in Ghana.
As you read this, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday.
I ,a merchin from Dubai, in the U.A.E.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer which was discovered very late,due to my laxitive in carrying for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical proverbs.
I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.
Now that God ! has called me, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close friends. I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give arms to charity organizations and give succour and confort to the less priviledged in our societies, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.
So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization and to the less priviledged in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.
The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of twenty four million dollars that I have with a Security Company in Europe for safe keeping. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and disburse it to some charity organizations and to the less priviledged.
Please send me a mail to indicate if you will assist me in this disbursement.
I have set aside 10% for you for your time and patience.
You can e-mail me at:firstname.lastname@example.org
Note, this transaction is 100% risk free and dose not attacts any danger.
While I await to hear from you, may God be with you and your entire family.
Lt. Kommander Peter Lawson
My student, Hiroshi Nakamoto responds:
I`m sorry to hear about your bad health. You have dose?
Take Care! My grandmother caught cold.
I am studying for test now, so I cannot go to Europe to help, sorry!
Recently, we have many typhoons in Japan, and it is so hot. Do you know Pokemon?
Thank you for reading! Take care of your health!
PS thank you for wanting to give money. I like.
Bless you! You seem kind man. How can I send you the money.
I think we can start with 25,000 dollars. You keep 10%!
Please send me your bank account number to my address:
Don`t you know Jpop? I like Funky Monkey Baby? And you?
By the way, thanks for quick reply. My grandmother is better . Bess you too!
Why you have so much money? You must be rich man!
My father got home. He salaryman. He says, it dangerous to send bank information to
man I don
t know well. Sorry! I don’t disappoint you!
I have an interesting business proposal to share with you.
I study business at school. Where is Europe do you work?
My school is in Tokyo. It is big city. You come to Tokyo?
We have Tokyo Disney Sea. If you come, I take you there. But many people.
I go to study now. I cannot proposal now.
You want money or not?! I am army intelligent.
Well, Hiroshi got busy with his tests and communication fizzled out, but as you can see, a fair amount of English practice occurred. It was entirely free! Sure there were risks involved, but as long as you coach your students on how to not give out any vital personal information, and have them sign a hefty liability waiver that your lawyer has written out for the purpose, it should be smooth sailing in Scamville for you and your students!
HEY ANOTHER EMAIL CAME! THIS ONE`S FOR YOU AND YOUR STUDENTS! NOW`S YOUR CHANCE!
I was one pinky spasm away from downward facing full pretzel, when the doorbell rang causing it all to unravel.
THEY delivered my package before I had ordered it! Mark Zuckerberg, where do you get those wonderful haircuts?
Handing out pamphlets while white, walking while white, walking through train station while White, waiting for plane flight while White twice in one hour! Moving in while white, jogging while white, shopping while white
These are the crimes for which I have been stopped and questioned or monitored by the police or Japanese security while in Japan.
Yoga-I can get into the half pretzel, but I’ve yet to get into the full pretzel, sober. Full pretzels require me to be laying at the bottom of the stairs.
Something smelled…..that was the tragic
Moment I realized I had Gogatsu BO…..
Why not give your friend something unique? – something they may or may not remember you by. Except perhaps by deja vu. Yes give the people you love the gift that keeps on giving:
I understand a lot of things, but I don’t understand why we are allowed to bring the flesh of dead animal carcasses on board commercial flights? Carrion!? At check in,they even ask you if you have carrion, like it’s an ok thing.
Helpful Laundry Symbols: