Santa Claus suspended by Christmas Society for sexual misconduct allegations

Santa Claus is the latest public figure to be felled by sexual misconduct allegations, with NPB ((North Pole Broadcasting) halting his show Monday following a Washington Post report with the accusations of eight women, two reindeer and an elf.

Photo: Santa pictured here with his balls

The women, reindeer and the elf, who all worked for Claus or tried to work for him, accused the veteran gift giver of groping them, walking naked in front of them and telling one that he dreamed about her swimming nude (presumably on a tropical island not Baffin Island).

Pictured: This accuser was willing to come forward

Claus, 75, said in a statement that he was “deeply embarrassed” and apologized for his behaviour.

“NPB was shocked to learn today of these deeply disturbing allegations,” the public broadcasting service of the Pole said in a statement. “We are immediately suspending distribution of ‘Santa and Friends.'”

Now the prospect looms of the possibility of no Christmas!

Further, lawyers for Claus, have argued, “what happened to the presumption of innocence until proven guilty?”

In a plea bargain agreement, Claus offered to go eco, and give children solar panels instead of coal, but the prosecution rejected this.

“It feels like celebrities are being tried by the Press. They are being suspended or dismissed before they even stand trial.” – Santa’s lawyers argued.

OJ Simpson, in the Bahamas, still looking for the killer, Said he is, “pulling for Claus.”

By Kevin Burns

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Any Guy in A Relationship can Relate

Getting to Work

I hate it when I’m on the way to work, and I’m reading a great book, and I just get to the really good sexy part, and I remember my car isn’t a self driving car! If you don’t like the way I drive, get out of the kiddie pool!!!

“How am I driving today? 1-800-8767-78fu”

The next time you fart in an elevator 

The next time you fart in the elevator. Just say to the guy next to you, “hey, everything happens for a reason.”

Would you like to Stay in a Canadian house in Japan?

Near Hakone, views of Mount Fuji, and near Only Yu Hot Spring!

And did we mention the reasonable price?

Romantic Fuji Views near Hot Spring

Minamiashigara-shi, Kanagawa-ken, Japan

Perfect romantic spot for couples. Our dream home! Stay in a Canadian house! 2 single beds. Much of the furniture and lights were imported. The house itself was made in Canada, then imported and bu…

https://www.airbnb.com/embeddable/airbnb_jssdk

Who do I look like?

Some people say, “you look like Paul McCartney. Others say: “Justin Trudeau or the French actor, Alain Delon.” Still others say: “Mitt Romney”, and some say “Will Farrell.” And others say,”Liam Gallagher. “But I think I look like the postman.

Would you like to Stay in a Canadian house in Japan?

Near Hakone, views of Mount Fuji, and near Only Yu Hot Spring!

And did we mention the reasonable price?

Romantic Fuji Views near Hot Spring

Minamiashigara-shi, Kanagawa-ken, Japan

Perfect romantic spot for couples. Our dream home! Stay in a Canadian house! 2 single beds. Much of the furniture and lights were imported. The house itself was made in Canada, then imported and bu…

https://www.airbnb.com/embeddable/airbnb_jssdk

A Visit to the Doctor

A Visit to the Doctor

james

What can happen when you leave your cell phone unattended.

Today I went for my annual physical. The doctor earnestly said to me,
“OK, we`ve taken your urine, your fecies and your blood.”
“And next you`ll take my money!” I quipped. He laughed and laughed, and said he had never heard that one before. (He won`t again until next year when I have to go back!)

Would you like to Stay in a Canadian house in Japan?

Near Hakone, views of Mount Fuji, and near Only Yu Hot Spring!

And did we mention the reasonable price?

Romantic Fuji Views near Hot Spring

Minamiashigara-shi, Kanagawa-ken, Japan

Perfect romantic spot for couples. Our dream home! Stay in a Canadian house! 2 single beds. Much of the furniture and lights were imported. The house itself was made in Canada, then imported and bu…

https://www.airbnb.com/embeddable/airbnb_jssdk

A Note from the Dean

A Note from the Dean

“Kevin, running your class like a TV shopping infomercial is not in the curriculum; and saying “it slices it dices,” is not practical English for first year liberal arts. Just stick to the textbook please.

–the Dean

 

VISITING JAPAN?  NEED A CHEAP PLACE TO STAY IN A BEAUTIFUL AREA?

Near Hakone and Hot Springs

Minamiashigara shi, Kanagawa, Japan

<blockquote>Located near the Kari River across from a supermarket with access to nearby Iiwahara Station (Daiyuzan Line). There is a restaurant next door and a
Sri Lankan restaurant and Japanese restaurants n…</blockquote></div>https://www.airbnb.com/embeddable/airbnb_jssdk</div>

A Note from the Dean

Got a note from the Dean: Kevin this term during the oral English testing, we would appreciate it, if you would stop asking students:
“Is that your final answer? Do you want to phone a friend?” Plus
you cannot offer them 1 million dollars for a correct answer, or my car for an incorrect answer.

Kids at Play!

Kids at Play!  Dedicated to Selinda.

Jonah is,,,,not following orders